Jag

So I just realized that I haven't shared Jag's birth story. It's over on my Mom blog if you want to read it.
www.mommybrigade.blogspot.com
I think I'll do a post about the recovery and all that a little later. I always like going back and re reading those. It's crazy how much you forget. I know I've already forgot so much in the last 5 months.
5 MONTHS!
Where is the time going? My baby is already getting so big! He's rolling around and jumping all day in his jumper. I just gave him bananas for the first time last night. He devoured them! He loved them and just kept going and going! I couldn't believe it. He reminds me so much of Damon. He has so many similar mannerisms and just little things that take me back almost 6 years ago when I had Damon (That's a whole post in itself ;( Why is Damon getting so old!). Jag is so sweet. He has a little milk allergy so Momma is trying her hardest to stay away from pizza, ice cream, and milk related and it's been a little hard. But I have been surprisingly good about it. In the beginning I would eat something thinking I was safe, then he would be miserable, and so I try to be really good so he's not in any pain. It breaks my heart and makes me feel so bad when he's sick because of something I ate.
He started rolling about 4 1/2 months. I was starting to panic a little thinking oh crap, he's never going to learn how to crawl or move unless I put him down! So I tried to be good about him getting tummy time and before I knew it he was rolling. Which is bitter sweet. I really love re living all these moments and hitting these milestones. But then when I look at how big my other boys are, it makes  me sad to think how fast it all goes! So I am soaking it all in and loving every stage.
He's sleeping so much better the last few weeks. He wakes up and i'll give him his binky and he usually goes right back to sleep. Some nights he only wakes up once. If I'm feeling a little too full, i'll nurse him in the middle of the night. But I really love it when he just sleeps and sleeps! It is amazing how much better I feel with uninterrupted sleep! haha imagine that! He really was the worst sleeper for the first.....maybe 3 months. He would stay up until about 2  then be up every 2 hours after that. It's slowly gotten better and I'm so glad!
3 kids has been kicking my butt! Seriously it's been so hard..... if we're going to talk about this, let's just dive right in.
I don't think I've ever really had Postpartum depression. But I definitely have cases of extreme mommy guilt. I never feel like I am doing enough. Or days when I'm on top of things with the house, I feel like i'm neglecting the kids. The kids only seem happy if I take them wherever they want, or give them whatever they want. it's never enough. Everrrrrrrrrr. and somedays I'm so overwhelmed and just feel like i'm such a crappy mom. Dan's great at talking me through it and reassuring me the kids are fine and I'm not royally screwing them up. hahaha but seriously I have no idea how to be a parent, and what I think is good parenting most of the time comes back and blows up in my face.
Like that time I told Rafe that whenever he was mean to Damon, Damon got to do it back to him.
So if Rafe punches Damon in the face, Damon gets to punch him in the face back. (extreme example that's actually never happened but you get the idea)..........
yeah
horrible idea.
don't do that.
Rafe was just becoming such a bully but now all I hear is I get to do it to you now!!!
stupid.
The boys for the most part play great together and are just little buddies. But when they are mad at each other it gets crazy fast.
I'm dreading when they are older and their fights get really crazy. My brothers were seriously insane and if my boys act like my brothers did.....they might find themselves at some type of a boot camp.
Anyways, back to Jag.
I'm not really the mom with the set schedule or strict routines. When he's tired, he sleeps. When he's hungry he eats. it's the best thing for our lifestyle. I know most people swear by having a schedule. But whenever I try, it just never turns out as well as I'd like. And he's so happy that I don't think I really need to restrict anything with him. He's a pretty happy baby and is just content to hang out and let his brothers maul him. He's been sick a little bit. Just a cold with a nasty cough which I HATE! But it's finally clearing up. Hopefully for good. I hate worrying about his little tiny body and those dang coughs. I swear EVERY time we go to church we come home sick. Then we all get it and are out for like 2 weeks while it just takes turns going through each of us. We have been so sick this winter. I swear our house is cursed. Whenever someone comes to visit, they leave sick.
But spring is finally here....hopefully! The weather has been so nice and I am loving letting the boys out to play! However all the neighbor kids that have been over are driving me a little batty. that's for another post.

Rafey baby is 4!

Looking back over all the pictures of my sweet Rafe, I can't help but get emotional. I hate how big my boys are getting sometimes! When I see all these pictures about how tiny and innocent they were I just wish they could stay tiny and innocent for just a while longer. 

I remember the day Rafe was born like yesterday. My water broke two weeks early and I was SO excited to be meeting my baby. I was nervous about the delivery since I was trying to VBAC. It ended up being a stressful and scary delivery but I will never forget that moment when they laid him on my chest. That moment was so special and precious to me. He was the only one of my boys that I actually got to hold right away. After my delivery with Damon I would cry to have that moment. I would watch shows and bawl every time the mom got to hold her new baby like that. I finally got that moment with Rafe and it is something I will never forget. All you moms know how special that moment is, and all my c section mommas know how much you crave that.

Rafe was such a good baby. He was so relaxed and hardly ever cried even if Damon was smothering him with kisses. 

He was just the sweetest! As he got older the stronger her personality got. We've called him our sour patch kid since he was about 1 1/2. He is either so sweet or just a little stinker! Most the times he's sweet though;)

No one makes Damon laugh like Rafe can. They have always been best buddies and I am so thankful for that. Some of my favorite things about Rafe are how funny he is, how sassy he can be, how protective he is, and how his sweet little voice saying "I love you mom" after he does something naughty can just wipe away all my anger.

I can't believe it's been four years with this sweet boy. He has brought such a fun sweet side to our family! He can never keep a straight face, even when he is super mad. If you tell him not to smile he will always crack up and forget what he was angry about. If he gets in trouble he will get really mad then come around 5 minutes later with an I love you. 

He doesn't warm up to people very easily and some get offended by that, but if you play with him or talk to him about cars he will be your best buddy! I am so glad he's mine!! 

Happy Birthday Mr. Chubby!!!

Some of Rafes Favorite Things:

Color- red

Show- Paw Patrol

Best friend- Damon

Food- spaghetti or waffles

Truck- a back Dodge Ram (he wants one when he grows up) 

Construction truck- excavator with stabilizer legs..... Haha he's very specific;)

When he grows your wants to be a truck driver!

Oh and his name in Spanish is chewbacca hahahaha just ask him! 

Pregnancy Update

This pregnancy is coming to and end and I'm not that sad about it. I usually really enjoy being pregnant and feeling the baby kick and nesting and getting ready for him.....but the last month has just been so stressful. Since I've been diagnosed with Cholestasis I've been on quite a bit of medication and I'm being monitored twice a week. I go in on Mondays usually for a non stress test. I love that part of the week because I can just sit and hear his heart beat and know that he's ok. I can just relax for 20-30 minutes and not worry about anything. Then I usually meet with my Dr for a little bit, then get my blood drawn for more testing. Then on Fridays I get an ultrasound. I love seeing his chubby little face on the monitor. The ultrasound tech usually gives me a few 3D pictures and I love seeing his little face. I don't know exactly how accurate those are, but he definitely has the same mouth and nose as his brothers.

He is measuring big, which is nice. Most babies around 33 weeks weigh a little over 4 lbs, and he was measuring over 6lbs. Again, I don't know how accurate those ultrasounds can be, but I would love for him to be a little bigger since he will be coming about 3-4 weeks early. At my last ultrasound they were measuring my amniotic fluid, and it turns out I have a little more than normal. Which brings along more complications and monitoring. yay!......... my Dr. doesn't seem too worried which is comforting. And it definitely helps explain some of the symptoms I've been having. Hard to catch my breath/breathe when i'm in certain positions, bigger tummy, and contractions. I've been having tons. It's so weird to have had 2 totally healthy pregnancies then get slapped with all this on the third time around. Pregnancy is hard enough as it is, I wish there weren't all these complications.

So the plan is to have the baby on my 37 week mark, which is October 18th. Since I've been on the medication, my bile levels have dropped and my liver levels have kind of evened out so they think the baby will be safe in there until then. If there's any spike in those levels then I will have him sooner. I'm having a c section......and the closer the date gets the more I freak out. I'm nervous about getting an epidural when I haven't been having painful contractions before hand. Usually I'm like yeah, shoot me up that sounds great! But now that I'll just be walking in the hospital, not in labor, I don't think i'll be as excited about that...... Then I just get nervous about the surgery and recovery. It's going to be pretty different this time around then it was when I had Damon. My mom is coming to stay with us and help me out for a few weeks. It's been so long I've kind of forgotten what to expect about the recovery, but I know I'll need all the help I can get with these two crazy boys running around!

I'm excited for him to be here and to know that he's healthy and ok. 10 days seems so close....yet so far away!

Damon's in Kindergarten

Damon is LOVING being a big shot kindergartener. I say big shot because he always throws it in Rafe's face that he gets to go to school, and Rafe has to stay at home. Little does he know Rafe gets to do pretty much whatever he wants. He watches the shows he wants, plays with Damon's toys, Rides Damon's bike, get's lunch dates with mom and dad, and Target trips with Mom-which almost always mean something new from the $1 bin.

He's learning so much and I am so glad he has such a great teacher and is soaking it all in. The kid comes home with a new little song for EVERYTHING! Colors, days of the week, and the most random things. I think he sings most of his sentences these days. hahaha but it's working and he knows how to spell colors and the order of the days of the week so now I've found myself putting things to a tune for him if he's struggling with something.

One of my favorite parts of the day is getting him on and off the bus. He gives Rafe and I the biggest hugs and says he loves us, and he's off. Then when he gets home, Rafe usually gets the hug and I get his back pack, shoes, and jacket. He's usually hungry and tired and has quite a few stories to tell about his day. I love hearing all about his day and his friends and all that he's learning.

I emailed his teacher to make sure he's doing ok and that he's not running behind in anything. I told her how I was getting ready to have a baby and just wanted to make sure he's doing ok. Her reply was so sweet. She told me how he is just the sweetest boy and a friend to everyone and that he's right on track. If you know Damon, you know he can get a little distracted so I've been nervous about how he would be at school. So I was so relieved that he's been a good little guy.

I've been loving my one on one time with Rafe. I just let him do whatever he wants and try to make him feel special and like he's got my attention. He loves to cuddle and watch a show or he helps me with little chores around the house. He's just the sweetest quietest kid when Damon isn't around. The two of them together can get a little crazy, but when it's just Rafe he is so quiet. It's weird to me sometimes. He's always such a ball of energy, but sometimes I just think he misses his partner in crime.

Anyways, I sure love these two and how big and independent they are getting. It's going to be quite the adjustment getting back into the newborn stage, but I know they are going to be the best helpers!

Life Lately

I've been trying to soak up these last few weeks with my boys. Not that I won't be seeing them just as much when the baby comes, but adding a newborn is going to make life a little crazy for a while. And where we live, it's going to be getting cold soon. So a few weekends ago, my parents came to visit and we all jumped in the car and headed to yellowstone. It was most of our first times. It was so much fun! Dan and I decided to buy the year pass to all the national parks with the hopes that it will get us out of the house and do some exploring.

We saw old Faithful, and had some ice cream at the lodge. We walked around some of the docks to get a closer look at some of the hot pools. Then to top it off on our way out, we got stuck in a traffic jam for 45 minutes. There were a bunch of buffalo trying to cross the road and it took forever! We did get some cool up close and personal views of them though. But when you're stuck and your 3 year old is yelling from the back seat that he has to go #2....... 45 minutes is FOREVER! Luckily he held it;)

We went back just this last weekend. I have more pictures on my phone. I need to do a giant photo dump on here because I have so many pictures of stuff we've been doing. The weather was perfect this last weekend. The colors are changing and the drive was beautiful.  We went with Tim and his girlfriend, and when we got home Beth and David were here for the weekend. We had fun all weekend playing games and staying up late. The boys loved all the attention, and Dan and I like having other people to entertain the kids for a while. It was nice to have company to keep us busy and our minds off real life for a bit. That sounds dramatic, but you know when there's so much stress sometimes in life that the days just DDRRRRAAAAAAGGGGGGG by, having family here helps speed things up.

The baby is coming in just 10 more days. I can't wait to see his sweet face. But I am loving getting out and doing things with my little fam before life gets a little crazy!

Pregnancy update!

I've been having some complications with this pregnancy and blogged all about it at my other blog!
www.mommybrigade.blogspot.com

Sickness for everybody!!!

I am pretty much ready to pull my hair out. For the last week we have been sick and it's just getting worse and worse. We went to Boise last Wednesday and stayed at my parents house for a few day. While we were there the mountains were all on fire and the smoke was horrible. Rafe and I started coughing up a storm and started feeling pretty crappy. Damon broke out in hives all over his face and arms and hands. I took him to the dr while we were there to see what the heck was going on with him. It looked pretty similar to fifth disease and I wanted to make sure it wasn't that. Turns out it was hives.... Viral hives? I didn't know that was a thing.....And again, it started out almost unrecognizable and each day just got worse and worse. So by the end of our trip Rafe and I had full blown chest and head colds and Damon was starting to clear up a little. 

So here we are, a week later, I am coughing so much and so intensely that my ribs are killing me and I can barely sleep at night even drugged on unisom. It's hard being pregnant because a lot of the good cough medicines aren't allowed. I finally got some robitussin today so we will see how that works. Poor Rafe is so sick. His cough is awful, he's got goopy eyes, a fever, runny nose, the works! So we took him to urgent care today and the amazing dr actually gave us a prescription!! Do you know how many times I have taken my kids in with horrible coughs or colds and we get no help?! So many times that now I wait until they are this bad so we for sure get a prescription. Almost every time they just say it's viral, buy something over the counter that'll be $150, thanks. Then I take them back a few days later and they're like oh yeah, that is bad! Another $150 and a few days wasted that should have been treated with an antibiotic! Ugh! I hate that! So I was thrilled he gave Rafe a prescription. 

We get home and about an hour later I notice Damon had a goopy eye. GREAT!! Then he spikes a fever. I get them in the tub and let them play for a bit in some lukewarm water to see if it'll help because they both felt so miserable they were crying. I didn't have the prescription yet because I guess this Walgreens takes like 10 hours to fill three things. They finally calmed down and said they wanted pancakes for dinner. So I work up the energy to make some pancakes and their favorite blueberry bread. They ate two bites and laid down and were asleep within five minutes. We woke them up for their eye drops and some more medicine then tucked them in bed. Rafe took his eye drops like a champ, Damon took 30 minutes of coaxing and he still freaked out when I gave them to him. They both are miserable and being pregnant and the sickest I have been in probably the whole 6 years we have been married is pretty dang exhausting. I just can't believe this all hit and has escalated to this within the last week. It doesn't help that the air quality is HORRIBLE right now!! I'm sure that's playing a big part to our chest colds. I'm seriously coughing so hard I'm either gagging at the end or almost peeing my pants. Yeah. You're welcome for that.

The only thing helping is my sweet husband and me replaying sweet honey brown in my head..... "Lord Jesus there's a fire!" And "I got bronchitis! Ain't no body got time for that!" Too true sweet honey brown, too true......

So basically what I'm saying is feel bad for this ol pregnant girl and my sick kids, and for sure my husband who probably wants to run away right about now. And if anyone could wipe Jared fogle, josh dugger, Kylie Jenner and her long lost mother Caitlyn Jenner, and bill Cosby off the earth that'd be great. Or we could ship them all to their own island together so they can all be weird perverts together that works too......