Life is pretty funny

Lately there have been some funny things happening at this Morley house. So I thought I'd share with you all;) Please don't judge us for our stupidity or how we react in random situations.

We have a Christmas wreath on our front door, and there is a bird who thinks he wants to live there. Whenever I open the door he goes flying out and it scares the crap out of me. Every. Time.
The other night I went to our backyard to plug in the Christmas lights in the back, and Dan went to plug in the ones in the front. I was kinda scared because it was really dark and I'm a pansy like that. So I'm trying to hurry and plug in the stupid things but it's too dark and I couldn't see so i was getting more freaked out. Then I hear Dan....
"Babe.....babe....come here!"
His tone was a little panic'd so I run inside (with my huge 33 week pregnant body, I'm sure I looked hilarious. and I may have pulled a muscle...or two...) and Dan says,
"That bird flew in our house!"
 Me "NO way, are you kidding?! Where is it?"
That stupid bird was up on our planter shelf just kickin it like he owned the place.
We have a little movie of it, and I'll try to put it on here because seriously, we are idiots. We didn't know how to get that dang thing out of the house. And I am afraid of any type of animal! So I was scared and Damon was scared and Dan was trying to be Steve Irwin and gently get it out.... but yeah, that didn't happen.  It just flew around our house for 45 minutes while we were trying to get it to go out of one of the doors!
LONG story short. Dan knocked it out trying to trap it in a pot.....we put it outside....and a cat may or may not have came and ate it about 3 minutes later. Circle of life. I don't feel bad about it. That dang bird probably pooped on my planter shelf and how often do you think I clean those?! exactly. And if you feel bad for the bird, don't. Feel bad for Damon. He was super freaked out. Probably because his mom was freaking out. AND there's another bird that has already taken it's place on our wreath.....He better think twice before entering this house. Next time I'm just getting a bb gun and shooting the dang thing.

Here's another one for you!
Damon likes to take showers in the morning with me. So i stripped him down and he ran around butt naked for a few minutes like always. When we got out of the shower, I thought I smelled poop.....so I searched around and was looking and looking and couldn't find anything. So I assumed there was nothing and my nose was just being crazy.
Fast forward 3 days later. Dan's getting ready for work. He's in the closet and all I hear is,
"Ohhh my gosh. SICK!!" I sat up in bed. and I knew exactly what he was looking at.
It was just a tiny little piece, and it was hidden back behind the clothes in the closet. I laughed forever! And Dan gagged, especially when I told him it was a few days old.
Oh the joys of being parents!! haha I hope that wasn't TMI, but it was soooo funny!

OK here's the last one, not as funny but it's close.
My skin has been sooooo dry! It itches and is flaky and no amount of lotion is doing the trick. So last night I got out of the shower and started searching around for a nice lotion. I didn't want anything too scented or sparkly because I was just crawling in bed. So I found this Dove lotion that I bought for Damon because his skin is really sensitive and gets really dry. I hated this lotion because it smelled horrible and it took forever to rub into your skin!
Well I found out why after I rubbed my whole body down with it.
It's BODY WASH! Freak, are you kidding me? Do you know how hard it is to put lotion on your legs when you're pregnant?! I was so mad, but couldn't help but laugh as I climbed back into the shower. NO wonder it stinks like soap. No wonder you have to rub the crap out of it to get it into your skin. Sheesh.

On the plus side, my man is taking me out for a hot date tonight! We are going to see Mat Kearny at the knitting factory. I'm pretty stoked! Mostly because I don't have to stand the whole time because Mr. Morley spend a little extra to get us a VIP booth. Sooo nice of him!

Hope you're having a good day and don't have any birds fly in your house, find poop in your closet, or rub body wash all over yourself!